Fox's Review: Action 52 (NES)

[Fusion]

I cannot believe that I have came upon a game with this grace, this style, this power, this emotion.  It's like god put into an NES cartridge.


(Graphics 10/10):

The graphics are absolutely perfect.  They push the NES to it's limits and then some.  Seriously, you'd expect the SNES to have this level of graphics!  In fact, the graphics are on the level of the Playstation 2!  I never knew the NES could do true 3D!  I mean, just wow.  Even sweat beads are detailed and the variation of games is amazing!  How they managed this with 52 other games, I'll never know.  But this game is amazement in a cartridge.  I've never seen this much attention to detail since Super Mario Bros. 3!  And I thought the company that made this was some low-budget company that wouldn't do much with the hardware and not create a horrible game!  The opening sequence gets you all pumped up with digitized sound and a cry of "Lights!  Camera!  Action!" and the Cheetahs are awesome.  I like the cheetahs, but everything else looks like shit.  (1/10)


(Sound 10/10):

You won't believe your ears the instant you hear the very first drum loop and a voice telling you to 'make your selection now' with the most awesome sound effects ever!  The music is so good, I had to keep myself from messing up my pants.  I mean, hearing the music is like 'sleeping' with a hot chick who's dedicated to you, and only you.  The sound effects work so brilliantly, too!  I cannot believe this game is so awesome!  Thats because the music and sound effects are also shit as well.  Worst use of licensed music ever, and who the hell did they hire to voice? (1/10)


(Gameplay 10/10):

The gameplay is totally not a broken mess!  Your character moves so fluidly, and naturally, it's wonderful!  How they manage this with 52 games is beyond me.  I wanna be better!  I wanna beat this game!  Some games even play theirselves, which is awesome!  The gameplay is a broken mess, you will never find anything shittier than this.  (-1/10)


(Overall: -9001/10)

If you'd bothered to pay any attention to the yellow text, you'll know that this game is the worst you could possibly get.  Action 52 is the epitome of crappyness, created in an era where the developers thought that if you stuff in all the 'latest' features that it'd sell like hotcakes.  It didn't help that the Cheetahmen were badly drawn and didn't have any kind of nostalgic value whatsoever.  In fact, they looked like a gang of thugs to me.  They really deserved better treatment, or at least Action 52 should've been just about them, instead of having to pack 52 games into one cartridge, sacrificing quality and gameplay for quantity of games you can stuff into an NES cartridge. 

It doesn't help matters any when you see that about half of the games actually work.  Even then, the games that only work on an actual NES aren't any better than the ones that only work on an emulator.  Could you believe that the developers held a challenge?  Yeah, the challenge could never be beaten because the sub-game it was made for crashed before you ever reached the level you should have!


This game is a glitch-fest, and all the reviews you read about it are right.

[UHMEEEEBA]

IT'S UNDER NEGATIVE NINE THOUSAND!