Fox's Review: Dead or Alive 4 (360)

[Fusion]

Boobs!  Women!  Ryu Hayabusa!  A freakin' Spartan from Halo!  What else could you want?  The game Itagaki never got payment for is the subject of my review today, and never before has a game pissed me off this much.  I know Ninja Gaiden was supposed to be hard, but that's Ninja Gaiden.


(Graphics: 8/10)

Nothing to be so surprised about.  I read that it was going to have some form of motion blurring for the graphics, but it seems that that feature was cut out in favor of making Ayumi's boobs even MORE bouncy.  Cloth physics as well as ridiculously inaccurate boob physics and the like as well as character design, menu design... Seems a bit sub-par.  I do like the actual technologic parts, but this is a Ninja game, so no technology except for one stage.  I can't spend too long on this part or everybody'll think I'm some idiot who lusts after video game characters like I could start humping my 32" HDTV just because Kazumi just stands a certain way.


(Sound 6/10):

Nothing spectacular.  Voices are untranslated.  You have the DOA1 announcer as a little bonus... Just kinda yawn here.


(Gameplay 3/10):

Oogh.  Now you'll learn why the first two sections of this review are incredibly short.

Ever played a game where it feels like you have to cheat just to be able to even play on a basic level?  That's the feeling I get here, because the A.I, even on the easiest of difficulty settings completely kicks your ass with any of these strategies:

A. Uncounterable attacks.
B. Combos that completely kill your life bar
C. Uncounterable attacks that involve combos that completely kill your life bar.

I don't see how people rate this game so god-like when let's face it: You can't do jack.  I understand that Martial Arts about unbalancing your opponent for a few good strikes, but this is ridiculous.  EVERY SINGLE MOVE CAUSES UNBALANCE.  That is how those fucktarded strategies come into play.  A.I gets into a combo, you can't do shit about it, and what do you see next?  That you've been K.O'd.  There's not even a reliable difficulty setting to make it easier or something.  All it goes is "Normal -> Hard -> Very Hard".  Fuck, if I wanted to have a difficulty setting like that, I would've named it "Easy -> Normal -> Hard" so the difficulties would at least MAKE SENSE.

Come on, what is a damn game without an easy level where it's easier to win but not too difficult?


For any further rants on the difficulty, I give you this:

That is all.

[MC2]

It's DOA what can you expect?

[Fusion]

Every game has some form of balance, but the skills you need to use to win are equated to button mashing hoping that you hit a special combo here.

[DMK]

Yeah, it's a son of a bitch and a half. You LITERALY got to get lucky and hope you can take off half a lifebar before they begin countering to hell and back. I don't even attack the A.I. anymore. I just wait and counter because they literaly do more damage then a 23 hit combo. SERIOUSLY.

I also noticed that dispite them countering out of juggles and full force knockdown kicks I can't do squat back during there massive amounts of juggleing that'd make some broken MUGEN characters jealous.

Very Hard is...is...I don't WANNA GO BACK

[DMK]

Honestly? On very hard? On normal it's like everyonce in a while they'll get downright bullshit, but on very hard it feels like just standing still kills me. I've never had that feeling come from a game, even Ninja Gaiden. This just pushed some many buttons I nearly broke the disc and my controller is wearing the scars from my battles in Survivor.

Fucking so close so many times on Survivor.  :'(

It's a game that'll break your soul at times....