Author Topic: SPAM THREAD!  (Read 1426564 times)

Offline Jango

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1695 on: March 09, 2008, 09:28:35 PM »
I think from now on I'm going to put that into every video I make. Even JOHN SAMBO

Offline ughwtf

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1696 on: March 09, 2008, 10:10:46 PM »
So I was getting on the train after a long night partying: 3 am, and no one else is on the subway. I'm drunk as hell from too many shots of jaeger, and all I wanna do is go home and get some sleep and wake up to a fuckin' hangover. Lo and behold, sitting there at the far end of the train is this hottie wearing a tight red leather dress and high heels, I mean, like bangin' hot. She sees me looking, and I smile, and she smiles back and hikes up her skirt, and so I walk over to her. She unbuttons my pants and pulls out my cock and starts sucking me off. I reach down to finger her pussy, and that's when I feel that "she's" got a cock and balls under her black silk lace panties. Now I know some of you sick fucks think traps are hot, but shit, I was fuckin' scared out of my mind. I start trying to pull away, and s/he's not having any of it, s/he's grabbing onto my ass and she keeps sucking me off. I'm yelling and I'm screaming and s/he's still sucking on it. I'm freakin' out like hell and smacking her face, trying to punch her and get her the fuck off my cock, but I don't wanna punch too hard and make her bite down, and next thing I know, s/he's enjoying it. I'm grabbing her hair and pulling, trying to get her off me. She just sucks harder. Shit, there I am with this freakin' guy in a dress sucking on my tallywacker, what the fuck do I do? Anyway, I'm grabbing and I'm punching and I'm yelling, and then I realize I had one too many shots of jager, and I start feeling sick, and I'm all, "Holy fuck, you sick piece of shit, let me go I'm gonna fuckin' puke," and she's all "mmmmmmmmm," and gets even more excited, and then there's this seven-inch cock sticking out from under that tight leather dress, and now I'm really gonna puke because this bitch has, like the worst case of clap from hell, I shit you not, there's fuckin' pus and blood oozing from this thing, and that's when I lose it. I puke up jaeger and a half a bowl of preztels all over the fuckin' place, all down the back of her hair and her back, and that just makes her love it even more, and then she's coming, and there's this chunky, yellow-green shit coming out of her cock and getting all over my nikes, and that's when I lose it, and I grab my keys. So I grab my keys. I stab this freak in the ear, and there's blood coming out all over the fuckin' place, and I shit you not, she actually moans and starts stroking off. I stab out her eye, and there's like blood and goo and jelly shit running down her eye and she's still moaning and sucking, and so I've had it. I kick the freak in the cock, and it finally lets go of my fuckin' penis, which, at that point, cums and starts spewing jizz into the empty eye socket and mingling with the blood and pus and jelly running down her face. So there she is, looking like a fuckin' extra from a zombie movie, with one eye and blood running down the side of her face, and she says, "oh baby, skullfuck me now, like I've never been skullfucked before." I'm screamin' like a fuckin' freak now, and I break a fuckin' window and cut my hand up and leap out of the moving train and crash through a fuckin' tree and get a goddamn branch impaled through my stomach. I'm staggering through the fuckin' streets still drunk as hell, bleeding like a motherfucker, and the branch has punched through my colon or something, because there's like, liquid shit pouring out of me, and then I hear someone going, "oh baby, pour that shit all over me," and I turn around, and that freak is following me down the street with her gangrenous fucked up zombie cock still hanging out of its skirt, so I run for the corner and whistle for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror, if anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "yo, home smell you later." Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air


tl;dr I have a ps3; your argument is invalid
« Last Edit: March 09, 2008, 10:12:52 PM by . »

Offline Jango

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As the ancient Hawaiians used to say... it's time for a dicking!
« Reply #1697 on: March 10, 2008, 01:52:48 AM »
Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold.

Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say... it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help.

The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiin sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in.

He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue.

Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate.

Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiin happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie.

Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope.

He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body.

Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in.

"Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

Offline Fusion

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1698 on: March 10, 2008, 08:27:32 AM »
The sad part is, I actually remember that show.

Offline Tyrannosaurus Reich

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1699 on: March 10, 2008, 02:36:32 PM »
ROUND 3


PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER

Offline Jesuszilla

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My lyrics pwn all.
« Reply #1700 on: March 10, 2008, 08:29:52 PM »
Audi famam illius
Solus in hostes ruit
Et patriam servavit

Audi famam illius
Cucurrit quaeque
Tetigit destruens

Audi famam illius
(...Audi famam illius...)

Spes omnibus
(...Mihi quoque...)

Terrar omnibus mihi quoque

Ille.....
...Iuxta me!
Ille.....

Ille iuxta me
Socil sunt mihi
Qui olim virl fortes
Rivalesque erant

Saeve certando
Pugnandoque
Splendar crescit!

Just try to keep things peaceful.

Offline Jango

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1701 on: March 10, 2008, 09:10:08 PM »
ROUND 4


WAND

Offline ughwtf

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1702 on: March 10, 2008, 10:43:59 PM »
MENTOS FIXES EVERYTHING.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 10:48:31 PM by ★Einferias WolfmageXX »

Offline Jesuszilla

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1703 on: March 11, 2008, 01:42:59 PM »
HAHAHA

Just try to keep things peaceful.

Offline Tyrannosaurus Reich

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1704 on: March 11, 2008, 03:00:56 PM »
ROUND 5 SOON

STAY TUNED

Offline Jango

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1705 on: March 11, 2008, 03:27:58 PM »
take your time, I got a massive cold yesterday and I'm starting to really feel the effects today (may or may not affect my Tennis skills)

Offline Jesuszilla

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1706 on: March 11, 2008, 10:02:24 PM »
QUICK, CHANGE THE CHANNEL!


EDIT:


WEEGEE BOARD
« Last Edit: March 11, 2008, 11:16:03 PM by [Kira] »

Just try to keep things peaceful.

Offline Jango

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1707 on: March 12, 2008, 11:49:55 AM »
I imagine now that Infantry's Random Insanity is gone, that will cut down on posts by Falconarg/Claude Speed, and will also cut down on failed memes.

Offline Tyrannosaurus Reich

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1708 on: March 12, 2008, 11:54:44 AM »
They got rid of Random Insanity?

Even less reason for me to go back to MI, and I had little to no reason to go back already.

Offline ughwtf

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #1709 on: March 12, 2008, 11:56:13 AM »
I imagine now that Infantry's Random Insanity is gone, that will cut down on posts by Falconarg/Claude Speed, and will also cut down on failed memes.