Author Topic: SPAM THREAD!  (Read 1426550 times)

Offline Fusion

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2415 on: August 19, 2008, 12:07:39 PM »
The Yoshi Shuffle

In the episode "The Yoshi Shuffle", Mario decides that the Cavemen need to learn about organization and teamwork because they fail to perfectly set up a set of stones properly even though that's easily one of the most difficult things to do on uneven ground.  Let's not forget that they way they built things up that point has already worked out for them adequately well, so there's no reason Mario would need to teach a prehistoric civilization that obviously can fend for itself ANYTHING other than he's a big Italian jerk.  Luigi, taking advantage of the situation, had carved a football out of stone, and wanted to show Mario.  Mario, being the overall-wearing jerk he is, tells Luigi that it's a stone, and that he didn't make it.  What a jerk, he really is a plumber.  So Luigi tells him that it's a football, and all of a sudden, Mario wants Luigi to throw a pass.  Yoshi stands there and watches while Luigi comments on the football being official size, then throwing it.  Mario does nothing to catch the football, instead he just lets it hit him, while Luigi points out the fact it doesn't weigh anything like a football.

This sparks some thought in Mario's mind, he would use football, a recreational sport, as a means of teaching organization and teamwork.  The cavemen, obviously excited about this deal, already know what teamwork is all about because of what they say.  So after Mario tries to force them to play on an unmarked field with no description of the rules or anything, they intentionally fluff up and Yoshi fires the football out of his mouth for at least a mile.  I thought the standard field size was about 100 yards in length, not a whole mile.  Well anyway, some random Magikoopa, probably Wisenheimer, happens to be in Luigi's path.  The two collide, and after Luigi and the Magikoopa share some very Brooklyn-esque road rage, the Magikoopa turns Luigi into a Yoshi egg.  Now all we've gotta do is keep that egg worm and a Yoshi named Luigi will hatch.  Oh, wait, it's like a magic prison or something.  The Koopa gets what's coming to him as the football clocks him on the head hard enough to send him flying.  Did I mention that the football wasn't the stone football?  Well the Magikoopa's magic rod also goes flying.  What happened to the football and that Koopa afterwards is a mystery.

Yoshi shows up and takes the egg, thinking that Luigi is in hiding, breaking the rules of football and is going to tackle him, which shows Mario's competence for 'organization and teamwork'.  Mario chases Yoshi and promptly informs him that he's "out of bounds".  What the hell, Luigi ran in a straight line going for a pass, Yoshi picks up what is effectively a fumbled ball and then goes out of bounds on an UNMARKED FIELD?  Something is wrong here or Mario does not know how to play football.  Wouldn't surprise me if he didn't.  Cheatsy and Roy both give chase, Mario tells Yoshi to keep running, and Yoshi, with a brain the size of a pea, tries to "find the touchdown."  Mario was correct when he said that Yoshi was out of bounds.  In fact, Yoshi didn't even throw a legitimate pass, I think.  Well, anyway, Mario and Yoshi happen to jump into the warp pipe that leads right into the Neon Castle, or Bowser's own home turf, and Cheatsy's bragging about it?  Is the Dinosaur World so sophisticated that it's residents are incredibly dumb but they have pipes that serve as the international or even inter-dimensional travel routes instead of plumbing?  Why is there a one-way direct ticket to Bowser's place anyway?  Because the plot needs it to happen.

So they fall out, Luigi the Egg somehow survives a freefall in which Yoshi appeared to have dropped him entirely.  Mario lands on top of him, and in moments, 2 Chargin' Chucks (also called 'Koopa Football Players') on Mario and Yoshi and... Tackle them.  Roy and Cheatsy soon follow.  Cheatsy lands on top of them and starts acting like they've had Mario and Yoshi all along.  While the Egg proves it's incredible durability once again when Roy spins it on his claw.  Cheatsy openly states that it's Luigi who is the egg.  Is Mario working FOR the Koopas or something?  That didn't seem like a planned attack earlier, more like a random occurance that resulted in road rage dialogue.  But anyway, they know the egg is Luigi, and they can't decide what to do with them.  So what?  The only reason the Princess is still alive is because Bowser never could figure out what to do with her?  But anyway, Cheatsy goes to tell his father, King Koopa or Bowser, of course.

The dishonorable king is lazily sleeping on his royally tacky-colored single-saur bed, and not even Cheatsy's grating voice is enough to wake him up.  So he plays with his dad's head a bit and goes off to do his own thing against what his father would probably say, which would be... I don't know, he never fried the princess or hung her over a giant pit or really did anything to her but just keep her to look at her.  Though Cheatsy does say that he's going to try to cook Luigi and serve him for lunch.  You know, that's actually a sensible idea that would ruin Mario's self-confidence and wonder just what the hell he was thinking going up against a bunch of dinosaurs when he's just a plumber from brooklyn.  But needless to say, Cheatsy also cheats out a little authority, and in the "great Koopa tradition", decides that a game of what do you think?  Football is best.  Gee, that's why they have the Chargin' Chucks?

Mario goes motivational forgetting that this is a lose-lose situation in the making.  "It's how we play the game!"  You're held captive, you were challenged, do you think the Koopas are going to be good sports, considering that they steal your kingdom's precious princess and send a single plumber to wipe out a massive army just to rescue the royalty?  Anyway, Yoshi and Mario discuss a plan, Cheatsy eavesdrops by simply watching them and not listening through a completely obvious hole that really should be fixed.  Next we see the Koopa's football field.  Lacking any goal posts, yard markers, out of bounds notes, and such as well as a generally annoying announcer who gets verbally socked by Roy for taking too damn long with his dramatic introduction.  So to start the game, Cheatsy, probably being a little prick, gives Yoshi the Eggball.  Mario and Yoshi both flinch on cue when they're told that the egg could break open.  You've done turned Luigi into a dinosaur or something.

So the game starts and after Mario tells Yoshi that they need to use teamwork, one doesn't wonder why Mario doesn't just jump on Yoshi, carry the ball, if someone touches him, Mario jumps off, gets a running start and hits the end zone.  No, Mario feels that escape is more important and notes that they're outnumbered, which was completely obvious to begin with.  Does Mario honestly think that teamwork isn't him jumping on Yoshi, kicking everybody's ass and then escaping with the Eggball?  No, that's called the smart route out.  Yoshi eats a Chargin' Chuck but in at least ONE continuity reference, doesn't eat him entirely, saying that he tasted "like sweatbands."  Then Roy says that THAT's not a fair move.  Mario tells Roy to be a man about it and the first play of the game happens.  Mario gets tackled and proves that he still doesn't know football by saying that Roy's playing "Australian rules".  Roy replies by saying that he's quite obviously trying to KILL Mario.  At least one of these Koopas has his head on straight.

So after some more Brooklyn rage and BS calls by the Koopas, Yoshi uses his tongue to intercept the ball, eat it, and he uses Mario to escape the playing field while a song plays in the background.  The Thwomp misses as usual and a Chargin' Chuck runs into the damn thing even though there was room to avoid it.  I thought 3 dimensions played a visible role in animation, though it's still clear the Koopas think just as 2 dimensional as ever with 1 track minds.  Mario and Yoshi beat them up at football, even though they walk back out onto the field despite going out of bounds and score a touchdown, and the only thing they're called on is excessive demonstration.  All those rule violations and you call on DEMONSTRATION?  Not even the Out of Bounds which would make their touchdown completely voided out?  Of course, the Koopas never bothered for a ref because they play Football the kids' way, not with Aussie rules or anything.

"I guess we shouldn't have counted our eggs before they hatched!" Mario exclaims for no reason whatsoever, even getting the whole analogy wrong as well as just serving the need.  He does nothing but be the opposite of useful.  The cavemen then show up to the rescue, saying that they tracked footprints.  See, they are a capable society of organization and teamwork, and Mario thinks that they need MORE of that and all.  The Koopas try to charge, but are repelled like rubber hitting a solid surface, which makes me wonder just how fragile Mario's body is if he can't take a touchdown but the Cavemen can muster up the strength to send the Koopa kids flying.  So they escape, head out the same pipe, and then they try to find out what happened to Luigi.  Yoshi ATE the Luigi Eggball, the koopa kids obviously never followed them.

Mario's orders are to split up, search for clues, but do it all as a team... Mario is the one who doesn't have a clue about what teamwork is, not the Cavemen.  "Walk alonga straight line!  No swervy!" as if they spoke a different language.  This proves that Splitting up is a farce because they walk in a straight line instead of actually splitting up.  2 of them do their best Counter-Strike bot impressions where they continually walk into something that's blocking their path.  The black caveman is the one who finds the rod.  So they get back together, Mario asks for the egg, Yoshi spits out the Luigi Eggball, and the Cavemen, despite never having seen the ball before, call fumble  and try to... Tackle the egg.  Mario turns Luigi back into Luigi, Luigi gets tackled, licked by Yoshi, then informed by Mario that he was a football.  The episode ends with Luigi going cross-eyed for a second then having a worried expression on his face, at which it fades out.

Offline Vans

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2416 on: August 19, 2008, 03:08:34 PM »
 :what:

Offline UHMEEEEBA

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2417 on: August 19, 2008, 04:34:58 PM »

Offline Jesuszilla

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Just try to keep things peaceful.


Offline Jesuszilla

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...
« Reply #2420 on: August 20, 2008, 01:28:03 AM »
...

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Just try to keep things peaceful.

Offline LegendaryXM90

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Offline Tyrannosaurus Reich

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2424 on: August 20, 2008, 12:05:44 PM »
should i make a swedish chef pilot for Windom XP y/n

Offline DMK

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2425 on: August 20, 2008, 03:29:26 PM »
He hit a cake with a bat. You tell me.

. . .














just fucking do it

Offline Tyrannosaurus Reich

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2426 on: August 21, 2008, 07:09:23 PM »

Offline Fusion

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2427 on: August 21, 2008, 09:34:45 PM »
Star Wars: Rogue Squadron got a PC port.  Rogue Squadron was, to begin with, a 3D game.

Was the PC port titled the same as the N64 game?  No.  They decided redundancy was the way out.


Star Wars: Rogue Squadron 3D.  Was it not 3D before!?

Offline Jesuszilla

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2428 on: August 22, 2008, 03:34:25 AM »
Speaking of which I finally found a download for PC Episode I. I'm so happy because this game was so much fucking fun.


Oh and FUZN how did you record it?

Just try to keep things peaceful.

Offline Fusion

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Re: SPAM THREAD!
« Reply #2429 on: August 22, 2008, 09:02:57 AM »
Fraps.  I used Fraps to record it while playing in-game.

By the way, can you share?